From Our Past to the Present
by Ajerzaaddict
Summary: Oneshots written for the Jerza Week 2016 on Tumblr. Rated M for Chapter 3.
1. Embrace

Jellal hated each time when he held Erza in an embrace.

He hated how he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, squeezing her tiny, dirty, wounded and trembling body to the point of making it hard for her to breath and whispering to her his new revelation on achieving true freedom by reviving Zeref, when she came to save him from the torture chamber in the Tower of Heaven. He had believed that she would always stay by his side, supporting him in realizing _their dream_. But when she refused to cooperate with him, he didn't listen to her reasoning, banished her from the tower and threatened her with their friends' lives.

It was the first time he lost her, and the first time she lost him too.

He hated how he circled her torso with his arms to pull her no longer weak and skinny but strong and curvaceous body against his chest, hugging her tightly as if he was promising her that he wouldn't let her leave him again even in death while she wrapped her arms around his neck, when the Etherion was about to come down on the Tower of Heaven. He was only deceiving her with his acting, however, because all he wanted in that moment was to make her the sacrifice to make his corrupted dream come true. When he finally released her from his hold after the Tower had absorbed the Etherion, he didn't push her away this time but pushed her into the lacrima for recreating Zeref's body.

Luckily, his plan failed miserably.

She was once again out of his reach as he fell into coma and drifted in the ocean after taking her place in fusing with the Etherion while she returned safely to her friends.

He hated how his hands first caressed her cheek wet with tears with guilt, then slid down to her neck with gentle touches until they reached her shoulders and held them firmly, before he pulled her to him while he leaned down to her closing the distance between their faces slowly with all the intention to kiss her, forgetting for a moment that a sinner like him didn't deserve her.

But such a moment didn't last long. He pushed her away when their lips brushed slightly against each other, remembering that he couldn't fall in love with people who walked the path of light and rejected her with a blatant lie.

She accepted his decision to let her go and they continued to live their lives separately.

Jellal would always hate the way he pressed Erza against his chest until there was no space left between their bodies as if they were a whole together when she never belonged to him. And he would forever hate the way he secured her between his chest and arms as if he was protecting her from getting hurt by the world outside his embrace when he was the one who hurt her the most.

But if Jellal thought that his past experiences of holding Erza in his arms were bad enough due to either the stupid reasons behind or the terrible consequences that followed, he was wrong.

As he carefully slipped his arms under Erza's limp body with bleeding wounds opened up all over her skin to lift her up from the ship deck, holding her securely and protectively against him to carry her back to the harbour of Hargeon to look for urgent medical treatment, Jellal now found that having to hold Erza in his arms because she was _too_ injured and _too_ broken to do anything herself was the kind of embrace he really hated the most to give to her.

He hated to see how helpless, how vulnerable, how _lifeless_ Erza looked in his arms when her eyes were closed, her breath was slow and shallow and her body was cold.

Yet, Jellal refused to put Erza down, to pass the job to Kagura. He was scared, so very feared, that if he released his clasp on her shoulder, that if he didn't hold her firmly against him, he would forever lose her for real this time.

It didn't take long for Jellal to reach the house where guilds gathered under Kagura's lead. Although he felt a little bit relieved that Erza could finally receive the medical treatment she dearly needed, he had still hesitated for a brief moment before detaching himself from her as he followed Wendy's instruction to lay Erza down on the bed.

And then he realized that, regardless of what had driven him to pull Erza in for an embrace in the past, and no matter what would lead her to fall into his arms in the future, Erza would never weight as heavy as the emptiness currently settled in his free arms.

"Can I stay, Wendy?"

With Wendy's permission, Jellal sat at the bedside and held one of Erza's hand in his while Wendy cast healing magic on Erza, praying that he would still have the chances to hold Erza against him in the future and promising to her that he would cherish every one of them and not make any of them his regret again.


	2. Tattoos

When Erza first saw Jellal, the thing about him that left the deepest impression on her was naturally the intricate dark tattoo on his face because it particularly screamed for attention by taking up a rather large surface on the right side of his face. She had also never saw such a facial feature on any other person.

His tattoo was composed of two parts. One of them rested above his right eyebrow like a triangle with two tails extended from its top angle and went up to his forehead. The other part ran from below his right eye to the right corner of his lips with a design which looked like a combination of a reversed triangle and a cross.

Erza thought that Jellal's tattoo looked pretty in its own unique way. But she also suspected that it was a mark left on his face by the guards of the tower as a punishment for something he did wrong. She had heard that the guards would burn a mark on those slaves who dared to disobey their orders so that they knew whom they should pay extra attention and give "special treatment" to.

She therefore tried to have minimal contact with him. She was afraid that the guard would mark her face with the same tattoo on his face if they thought that she was his kind.

But Erza was inevitably drew to Jellal because of the cheerfulness and optimism he was able to display even though his freedom and future had been stolen from him just like her. She watched him from afar, still wasn't dare to speak to him, feeling a little bit of comfort in her heart whenever she saw him smiling brightly making the lines of the tattoo on his cheek curved to the right and upward.

She started outlining his tattoo with her finger on the hard ground, trying to remember his smile to cheer herself up when she didn't know if she could survive the hardship she suffered for another day. She wondered if his smile would be directed at her one day but she didn't think there was anything special about her that would draw his attention to her.

So Erza was surprised when Jellal initiated a conversation with her by asking about her name, and even more so when he praised the color of her hair. An incredible amount of warmth washed over her when he explained that he wouldn't forget her last name if it came from her hair color with such a proud and happy smile on his face.

From that moment on, Erza decided that she wanted to get closer to Jellal, to get to know more about him, even if it meant risking the guards to mark her with a tattoo on the face.

It didn't take long for Erza to find out that Jellal's facial tattoo wasn't the work of the guards after she started spending more time around him. The guards enjoyed mocking Jellal as ugly and shameful for having a tattooed face, and claimed that he must be cursed with the tattoo to bring misfortune to people around him, including those who died in his village due to the child hunt.

Erza had never thought that the tattoo made Jellal look ugly. And she didn't believe in what the guards said about the curse. She thought that her life in the tower had become more bearable and less miserable, even just for a little bit, all because Jellal was now with her. It made her sad to see the anger and anguish in Jellal's eyes whenever he suffered from the guards' verbal abuse.

She wished that she could say something to comfort Jellal. But she was also afraid that she would say something wrong which hurt him more.

"Do you believe in what the guards said about my tattoo, Erza?" Jellal asked her with a tone sounded uncertain and hurt one night when she was once again trying to figure out a way to comfort him after the guards had given some malicious comments about Jellal's tattoo. "You always stare at me with a troubled look on your face recently."

Erza met Jellal's eyes, dumbfounded by his misinterpretation of her behavior at first before blushing embarrassingly for being caught staring at him.

"I-it's not like that!" Erza nervously denied with a voice slightly louder than her usual one and averted her gaze from Jellal. "The guards are liar. I have never believed in what they said about your tattoo."

A relieved sigh could be heard from Jellal and Erza took a glimpse at him.

"Thank you, Erza." He was now smiling at her, but there was still a tint of uncertainty in his eyes. "I have been worried that my tattoo would scare you off because of what the guards said." He paused and touched the mark on his cheek. "I know I look weird with it on my face. But I assure you that it is not a curse. It is a family thing, a blessing from my grandpa."

"I trust you." Erza said firmly. Then she decided to tell him honestly her thought because she didn't want him to misunderstand her and get upset again. "And I think your tattoo looks pretty."

It was Jellal's turn to look dumbfounded by Erza's words.

"You…really think so?"

Erza nodded vigorously. "I also like the way it's lines curve when you smile."

And then she noticed that Jellal's face turned pink all of a sudden. Was he angry with what she said?

"D-did I say something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"No! No! You didn't! Not at all!" Jellal denied and waved his hands frantically to stress his point. Seeing Erza's confused look, he took a breath to calm himself down before grinning at her. "I'm just really happy to know that someone other than my family find my tattoo pretty, that's it. Thank you for making me feel much better now, Erza."

Erza's heart skip a beat when she looked at how Jellal's tattoo curved to the side making his grin look even wider and prettier than it already was.

"I simply told you the truth, there's nothing you need to thank me about." She returned Jellal a timid smile, feeling really happy too that she was finally able to cheer up Jellal.


	3. Love

"How do I look?" Erza moved from her seat on the couch to settle in Jellal's lap straddling him, after he slid the new earrings he bought her into her earlobes.

Jellal held Erza by her waist and leaned back a little to let his eyes roam her face as if he was examining her in order to give her an answer.

"Pretty as always." He confirmed, smiling widely at her.

"I love them. Thanks so much." Erza held his face in her hands before leaning in to kiss him on the lips. "You really know how to spoil me."

"Do I?" Jellal chuckled in between their kisses.

"Hmm…" Erza's hands slid down from Jellal's face and clutched at his shoulders as she rolled her hips against his crotch in small circles trying to stimulate his desire. "And you always put my favorites above yours."

Dating at dessert restaurants, shopping for Heart Kreuz clothes, picnic at flower fields with tasty foods, front row tickets for her favorite stage plays…

"That's unfair."

"It's fair." Jellal placed open mouthed kisses on Erza's neck as his hands moved to the back of her thighs, caressing them a few times before going under her skirt to pull at her panties. "Being with you, no matter what we do, is my favorite."

"Being with me, huh?" Pulling back, Erza smirked at Jellal and unbuttoned his pants before pushing him down and hovering over him. Her hair fell forward like a scarlet curtain shielding him from the outside world.

"I thought your favorite is being _inside_ me, am I wrong?" She leaned down and whispered to his ear.

Jellal laughed as he pulled down both his pants and underwear just enough to free his erection.

"Can't deny that that's one of my favorite things to do…" He held Erza's hips firmly in his palms to pull her down as he thrust upward to enter her, eliciting a moan from her. "…when I'm with you."

He attended to her breasts with his thumbs and fingers as she rode him with the urgency and determination to bring them both satisfaction.

After they had reached their peak, Erza draped herself over Jellal while Jellal encircled her with his arms.

"What's your favorite thing to do when I'm not around you?' Erza asked quietly.

Jellal placed a long kiss at her temple as he thought about the answer.

"Stargazing."

"Let's go stargazing tonight then."

"You may find it boring." Jellal chuckled.

"I won't because you will be with me." Erza turned her head, looking at Jellal with tender gaze. "All the things we do together will be my favorite."

"Same goes for me."

Grinning, Jellal captured Erza's lips for another searing kiss.


	4. Haunted

_Erza felt dizzy._

 _She wondered why and opened her eyes to find out that she was on a boat, floating in the sea._

 _Looking around, she spot a group of people watching her on the shore. She immediately recognized their faces. They were her friends in the Tower of Heaven. Millianna, Wally, Sho, Simon and…...Jellal. She waved her hand at them to ask for their help to bring her back to the shore but started to get panic when she saw them pointing fingers at her and heard them accusing her for betraying them and leaving them behind._

 _She screamed her denial but she didn't hear her own voice. Tears blurred her eyesight and streamed down her face. She wiped away the wetness in her eyes hoping to see her friends clearly once again. But when she was done, they were nowhere to be seen._

 _Instead, she found her guild mates from Fairy Tail standing at where her old friends were just seconds ago._

 _She was startled, and couldn't help the clenching of her heart when seeing the sad, confused and disappointed look on their faces as they waved goodbye at her._

 _She didn't want to be left alone anymore._

 _Then she felt a hand landing on her shoulder, shaking her lightly._

"Erza...Erza…..."

Erza opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to focus her sight in the darkness of the tent. She looked at the source of the voice and found Jellal sitting up in his unzipped sleeping bed, looking at her worriedly.

"Are you feeling alright?" Jellal asked gently, looking a little bit relieved now.

Erza stayed silent for a moment as she recalled the details of her dream, still feeling her heart beating quicker than it normally did.

"I'm fine. I just have an unpleasant dream." She sighed. "What made you worry about my wellness?"

"You were sobbing in your sleep."

"Oh. I must have woken you up with the noise I made." Erza felt slightly embarrassed for being caught in her moment of weakness. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Jellal gave her a small smile. "Is there anything I can do to help you getting back to sleep?"

Erza contemplated her options. Sure, she could pretend that she was totally unaffected by the dream and didn't need Jellal's comfort because she was supposed to be strong on her own. But the guilty, lonely and empty feelings which raided her due to the dream was also unmistaken and needed to be alleviated if she would like to fall back into sleep in peace.

She inched closer to Jellal, grabbing one of his hands in hers.

"Would it be too much if I ask you to hold me?" She bit her lips nervously. "Like how you did when we were kids?"

She could see hesitation flashed in Jellal's eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Of course not."

Jellal lied down on his right side as Erza turned to rest on her left side to face him. He looked into her eyes as he draped his arm over her shoulder and placed his palm at the back of her head before gently pulling her to him.

Erza curled up and rested her forehead against Jellal's collarbone. Even though their bodies were separated by the fabric of their sleeping bags, she could still feel his body warmth reaching her. And she felt safe and protected when he was this close to her; the same feelings she had when he held her in the same way back in the days in the tower to comfort her after she had an exceptionally bad day.

She believed that she was no longer that weak and helpless girl in the past. But she really wasn't as strong as she thought she had become.

"I miss Fairy Tail." Erza whispered in a voice just barely loud enough for Jellal to hear. "I miss my friends."

"I'm sure you do. It's natural. They are like family to you." Jellal didn't say things like "you will meet them again soon". No. He knew such words were empty because they both knew in their hearts that there was no way to predict when such reunion would actually happen.

"But I did encourage members to leave Magnolia and to explore a new life without Fairy Tail after Master had disappeared. I even stopped some members from looking for Master and demanded them to respect his decision. I watched my friends leave Fairy Tail and never tried to unify them. Maybe I have done things wrongly and that's why I'm all by myself now."

Faces of Fairy Tail members in her dream surfaced again in her mind and Erza took a deep breath trying hard to swallow the tears threaten to spill.

"You did nothing wrong, Erza." Jellal pulled away a little to look at her. His hand cupping her head slid down to her face, caressing her cheek with its thumb. "Your friends must have decided to go separate ways because they agreed that what you said was right and realized that it was also Master Makarov's wishes. And you know in your heart that even the guild itself is no longer exist, the strong bond shared by Fairy Tail members is still there, right?

Erza smiled a little before nodding.

"Surely we will still live with Fairy Tail spirit in our hearts."

Jellal moved his hand to Erza's waist to pull her to him once again.

"And you will not be alone by yourself. Me and the rest of Crime Sorciere will be by your side until you don't need us anymore."

"I-I'm sorry!" Erza raised her voice in a little panic "I shouldn't have said that I was all by myself when I actually have your company and Crime Sorciere's support. That's ungrateful of me."

"Don't feel bad about what you said. I don't mind, not at all. I know you didn't mean to disregard us."

Erza's hand found its' way out from the sleeping bed and rested on Jellal's upper arm.

"Thank you, Jellal, for coming to me when I didn't know where to go."

"I will find you again and again when you need me."

"Please do." Erza let out a yawn. "I wanna sleep now."

"Go. I will hold you until you wake up again. Don't be worried."


End file.
